Listed on this page are actual 9-1-1 calls that we have responded to.  For legal reasons, names and addresses are withheld.

Burn to foot.  Patient stepped on a hot potato.

(Yes.  This was a real call!)

Hemorrhage.  Patient is bleeding from toe.  Cut toe nails yesterday, and toe will not stop bleeding.

Earache with vaginal burning

Testicular cyst.

Headache.  Onset during sex.

Hemorrhage.  Bleeding from the penis.

"My menopause is killing me."

Ill psych patient.  Patient punching telephone poles and trees.

Ill person.  42 y/o male with a toothache.  Patient had something stuck between his teeth.

Bleeding from mouth.  29 y/o male.  Bleeding from wisdom tooth extraction site.

Toe injury.  61 y/o female.  Dresser drawer fell on toe.  Occurred last night.

Traumatic injury.  20y/o female.  Jaw out of place from yawning.

Toe injury.  Hair caught around toe.  Serious bleeding

42 y/o female.  Boil under arm

Unknown medical aid.  21 y/o female c/o her boyfriend left her.  Unable to eat.  Requests transport to the hospital.

Unknown medical aid.  16 y/o sleepwalking on roof.

Syncope.  35 y/o female fainted once after putting paper clip into ear.

Unknown medical aid.  RP states needs new bed.

Difficulty breathing.  History of anxiety attacks.  Someone told patient their garage door was open.  Last time that happened it was a burglary.  Hands pale.

Ingestion.  20 y/o male drank one energy drink.  States he is shaky and requesting an ambulance.

Chest pain.  26 y/o female.  Onset after bad dream.

Injured female.  Glass shoe fell on head.

Spider bite.  25 y/o male, bite on rear.  Occurred 4 days ago.  Pain to leg.

"Sir, what is hurting you right now?"

"My life."

Ill male.  11 y/o male.  Mother found a spider on patient's head.  Doesn't see a bite, but would like the child checked out.

Ill female.  77 y/o female.  Recently released from hospital and is requesting transport back to the hospital because her house is too cold.

Patient refused transport and went to her daughters house.

Heart problems.  RP told dispatcher they have what Dick Cheney has.

Assault.  RP told dispatch he was tweaking and needed an ambulance.

Hemorrhage...1 y/o male...Popped pimple on forehead, won't stop bleeding.

Violent crime domestic assault.  29 y/o male, facial injuries.  Suspect is brother-in-law.  Suspect left the scene with patient's wife.

Family justice?

Violent Crime.  19 y/o female was walking to store and a car drove by and threw an egg at the patient injuring her eye.

OK, this is not the patient's fault, but you must admit you do not see a drive-by egging every day.

Ill male.  71 y/o male has boil on back of left calf.

Drug reaction.  45 y/o female used crystal meth on New Year's Eve.  Now has general weakness and vomiting.  Hasn't used in 48 hours.  (Call was 2 days after 31st)

Unknown medical aid.  Female resident called friend at another location and told her there was a human leg under her vehicle parked in the garage.

Outcome:  Fake leg.  Prank gone bad.

Unknown medical aid.  35 y/o male.  Male is talking to himself and taking his clothes off.

"Shaky"  When the niece was asked if she wanted her aunt transported to the hospital for the shakiness, she stated "Yes, I have to go to work."

This call took place in the collections office of an equity business:  "Ill person.  25 y/o female c/o "nervous."

Man down on ground.  Men standing around patient.  Patient has pants down around ankles.